ohhhhhhhhhh canada

i feel like the datsun 510 that my bro and i drove ( i say that very loosely), the car that my friends learnt to drive standard on, that would not start first try but would continue running long after keys had been removed.....the car that i would crawl out of the hatch at the u of m - that's manitoba bitches - hollah....because the parking was too tight, the car that had the tape that connected to the walkman....u know what i am talking about........you do.... )yeesh - that all really sounds like a slightly dirty homage to myself - HOLLAH!

home after almost a month in the mother country and i am at sail without an anchor. it is a funny thing to consider living out your life in a country you were not born into. a strange dance that you engage in. this dance i dance is subtle, but it is there. maybe it is not so much the country as it is the people. or maybe it is both. we live, i feel in an insular enviro.....not of the choosing but of geography. both mike and i grew up with all kinds of family around. cousins, aunts, uncles, grandmas , grandpa, great this and that's, aunts that were not aunts but were moms bffs, lots and lots of misc wonderful people who were of all ages and talents that were drawn together. fuck. i have said it. it breaks my heart that my kids will never know this. i love mpls, i love our lives here, i LOVE our dear dear friends, but i yearn for the imposed chaos that geog brings you. i love that kids learn to see more than kids moms and dads........this feels very suburban to me, that which i have strived not to create. ugh......this brings me to canada. this is why we disappear to the north. we are dipping our children like a giant oreo cookie into a big glass of milk - into a big vat of "geography". this summer it was a month, next summer i hope longer. there is something magical that happens when it clicks.....when you see your kids talking to your aunt or your sister, when you see them connect. when you see them learn something, be it golf, or canoeing or the fact that the bag in the boxed wine can be used as a floatation device....oh wait, that is my youth.....hah! soon to pass along that nugget to my kids. it is something, and i am going to hang on tight. geog does something intentional to you. there is an obligation to commit when it is family. that can feel fatiguing on the front side but rewarding on the flip side (omg - that was the name of the teen dance club i frequented in the v early 80's).....or maybe mike and i were sheltered by mothers that gave gave gave, wrapped and cooked and cleaned and smiled and really wanted very little in return....i, in some ways feel myself going this way....the difference being mike is along for the ride willingly on vacay and begrudgingly at la maison....our moms did it solo and we were none the wiser. hmmmm. so maybe there is a correlation betwixt my joy and betrothed on holiday? doesn't hurt. he gives be present a new meaning.....god, now i feel like an under slept first year english TA screaming there is no thesis........so what do i say? thank you families. thank you for a wonderful wonderful summer. for a moment of time i know we were all present.

cynicism 101

i remember the day i was at my marketing internship at john wiley and sons (last respectable job btw unless you call simultaneous loly gagging & slave labour a career) and i was introduced to "stock photos". tabernacle! (also a little something from JWS) the veil was lifted. those smiling, frowning, toasting, laughing ect strangers had not posed just for my little bookie (that was before the intranet - WTF how did i get so old and WTF why have i been retired....whoa"retired" for so long........)but here was a very large book - a tome, not a tomb as i wanted to call it before the INTRANET! AND GOGGLE - why even educate yourself, just get goggle hard wired to your brain......( : smirk.......chalked full of these said photos - ripe for the taking. back lit staircase - check. laughing children - check. sleeping dog - check. it was all there and all catalogued! well, holy buckets, what a revelation. so now, not a day goes by where i do not look at said photos and think..yeah right. my cherry is gone, i am so on to you all. it really makes enjoying the adds in the sunday paper or really any slightly nebulous pics i come across hard to accept. maybe this is ok for the lot of you but not for i!!! so on a binge of healthy living declarations to myself and sleeping very lazy dog i decided to bookmark all my yoga studios so i was indeed ready for healthy living......that is when i came across this gem. yeah right mofo. healthy smealthy. i am having another glass of vino.

lucifer thy name is ikea

i went to catholic school most of my life and as such i believe i have a pretty good visual on satan, and satan, i believe runs ikea.

the kids are still in canada with my parents at "nana and grampa camp" - a high octane week of total merriment where my parents pretty much do a years worth of "we should do that with the kids" in one week. how lucky are we! i know you feel happy for us, really. i however usually loathe people with oh so helpful grandparents who whisk kids away and the adults have a night out with no counting hours drunkenly in car trying to figure out how much to pay.......anyways. also, know that i am crafting some witty reflections on our trip to canada - the first leg (we are going back on saturday for another week bc frankly my mosquito bites have healed and i am in alcohol withdrawal) was divine and full of all sorts of gong show (thanks to kristi for coining that) behaviour, family and fast boats ( all motorized for moi)

....so back to satan. inspired and emboldened by furniture experience with carrie (we put together 8000 pieces of cost plus misc that mike ordered after consuming too much wine), as well carrie put together a kick ass bedroom for her boys from ikea so i thought me casa e tu casa. i get to ikea and it is packed. i have always mused that you could use ikea like a preschool, have a little lunch (swedish meatballs are delish) browse ect and the ball room was in fact mayhem. i however went right up the escalator and frankly somewhat enjoyed my shopping experience. even packing my own flat bed and dumping it in the parking lot and running to get my car before someone stole my stack or ran over it, i smiled and hefted it into my car. i get it home and some of it into my house and start to build. i think i can do this! i am very intentional, i read and re read. the bookshelf is all together and i go to slip the back in and low and behold i have put the fucking shelves in the wrong place - wtf. of course mike comes home at this point and chortles. i walk away from the shelf and start on the drawers for the desk...i am not kidding i start at 5, have a quick dinner and am back at it (while watching nurse jackie which is great although jackie's hubby is miscast i believe - a tad too young) at 11 - yes 11 i put the drawers in and they do not fit!!!!! vika furusund i curse you. you know those cute/quirky pics of the ikea designers they have all over the store, the ones that say - i love simplicity, i have a bed and a couch and a funky lamp and am v organized and speak 5 languages - they are satan's minions. they work with him to craft this furniture so poor unsuspecting folks like me who are just trying to save a few bucks and not spend $500 on desk at pottery barn kids for an 8 year old buy it and self destruct- - why why why!! but i shall persevere! i will not succumb! i am going to build this shit if it takes me the rest of the summer and frankly i suspect it will......

boom there it is

moments sneak up on you. today i walked over to the library with nate and chloe (why is it that 2 kids feels like 20 less kids than 3?) and on the way home we stopped at dunn bros for an iced coffee - yum. i love the iced dark roast. strong, no sugar with milk. slightly medicinal but delicious and i always silently congratulate myself for not getting their version of a frappucino type beverage with whipped cream...so not only feeling triumphant but also fresh and wide awake. here is something one could get addicted to. so while i am ordering chloe drops her book, nate drops some garbage, you know the drill and it does not occur to them to pick it up so i say guys pick it up....blah blah blah - they do! holy shit! anyways i say to the coffee guy - i am their sherpa. he looks at me and says sherpas are used to surviving without a lot of oxygen. pause pause pause. we look at each other. i smile he smiles, i pick up chloe's water cup and toss it in the garbage. take a deep breath and enjoy a little stumble into wisdom. who knew my coffee stop would fill me thrice.

slawlicious

here is a great recipe for coleslaw. HOORAY! i got a run in, the sun is shining. we have family from winnipeg coming over for a bbq...and we are headed to the pool for a dip. what could make the day better....well, mike took all three kids out to hunt for wetsuits - yes we choose to vacay in canada and the water is a tad chilly....so i am alone to putter and prep dinnah for tonight......satisfying and soooo tasty. just ate a huge helping of this - v yummy. i used 2 bags of the precut coleslaw mix and added a tbsp of hoisin sauce to the dressing bc even though i cannot say it properly i love it on pretty much anything.....so enjoy!

Crunchy Peanut Slaw

1 big bowl of slaw, serves at least 8

1 medium head green cabbage, outer leaves removed
1 1/2 cups roasted, unsalted peanuts
1 bunch green onions
1 cup chopped cilantro (about two big handfuls unchopped)
Salt and pepper

Dressing:
1/2 cup light oil, like canola
3 tablespoons rice vinegar
1 tablespoon sugar (or more, to taste)
1 tablespoon sesame oil1 teaspoon soy sauce (or more, to taste)

Shred the cabbage very finely. The fineness of the shredded cabbage is really what makes this salad; you want it in in threads, almost, and with the threads chopped into bite-size lengths. Toss with the peanuts in a large bowl. Chop the scallions, including the green and white parts. Toss the scallions and chopped cilantro with the cabbage, seasoning very lightly with salt and pepper.
Whisk the dressing until emulsified, then taste and adjust to your own preferences of sweetness and saltiness.
Toss with the cabbage. Garnish with a few more peanuts and serve.

a sigh of relief

mike has bought a boat (well, i guess i should say WE have bought a boat - chuckle) and ecstatic is not even enough to describe how i feel. this boat has an engine, i.e. is not powered by the wind, who by the way i loved for a good 36 years, this is the wind we are talking about just in case i lost you....anyways...a few years mike/we bought a 17 ft hobie cat - a sailboat he said that had coolers - images of lounging and white wine filled my mind with pleasure and satisfaction- HAH. is all i can say, would you like to see my scars? i was his ballast, there is no other word for it, and bless his heart he loved every minute of it (the way your kids love beating sibs up, i suspect?!?) anyways, it got to the point that i would wake at the cabin and hear the wind and think SHIT!!!!!!!!!!! this was the whole reason to have dyani at minaki for 2 summers, i know most thought it was to help watch kids, but truly it was to give mike a sailing buddy. hey - i will watch all the kids and make dinner, you go get in the harness and sail with my beloved....?....i loved the idea of sailing, kind of like the way i loved tennis, btw have you seen me in a tennis skirt? HEllo....but truly it scares the shit out of me. thank god my kids love it and will have the muscle memory (thank you kim for imprinting me with that concept) for sailing...and now anyone for a little water skiing and a booze cruise?

and the winner is

in the epic battle for domination, and no, i am not referring to nate vs chloe, that is a whole other story, one that would take some quiet and at least a whole bottle of wine to wrap my mind around. this battle i am referring to is laundry. what is a 7 letter word for defeat......laundry. btw i had to count that out on my fingers at least twice. i have come at this from all angles. monday is laundry day - failure! each day i will do a load - failure! i will just air fluff items and pretend they were laundered - stinky failure! how many times have i heard - mom/marla/honey/lazy fat assed w$%#e - do i have any clean underwear? to which i answer (at least in the month of july,) - oh honey it's summer go comando - alas failure! don't even get me started on the chewies - total utter and i fear unhygienic failure! so what's a mom to do? thank goodness for washers and driers for one, i do not even want to go there with the whole cloth diaper thing...thank god for my good natured spouse who i know likes to wear things a second or third time (that is a 7 child family thing, i am sure) and i suspect my daughter and son in laws one day will thank me for learned fondness for the whole free ballin/?? thing. well, likely they will never thank me - heaven forbid! it will, i imagine be an unspoken thing, not unlike the smile on my face as i roll over and go back to sleep and mike recycles his underwear.