caught between two worlds

so when i was in high school my friend laura and i had this thing......caught between two worlds don't know where to turn the answer my friend is blowing in the wind what about the baby sweet jesus......i sent this remembrance to her and she loosely remembered it, not unlike how someone remembers the lyrics to a "wham" song.......but to me it stuck. this is big. foreshadowing, tess of the dubervilles foreshadowing big. i feel like i am stuck. September to me is a particularly auspicious time. my new year. a start of things. school ect. just new, change of season. babies getting older, 20 year reunions.......a time of change. not in a bad way not in a good way just in a way. there is an ease to september if you let it. funny that i write this on the first of october or maybe not. maybe it takes riding a pedicab through st paul on a drunken remembrance cruise to liberate september for all its goodness.

so how does one live in the today? what does it take? is it a reality? the end of summer is a time of nostalgia for me, for mamas. children, babies before our eyes go to school, taking a bit of us and a bit of relief, given and reluctantly parted with.....strollers strolled, swings swung....whether 2 days or 2 years ago, our memories are pushing these images to the forefront....bittersweet. for me, hard not to dwell in the past, in those memories, those feelings, those sensations, so real. and then boom there it is the future - who am i ? they are in school? how do i define myself? who should i be? what makes me tick? the past the future.......popping between the two without a breath for the now. how do we capture this now that is really all that matters? hmmmmmmm. for now i believe that the simplest path is the right one. enjoy, breathe, be present, be grateful, surround yourself with those who push you and make you laugh, play cards with your kids even though you want a second cup of coffee. enjoy the french horn......walk the dog.....just be......hello october.....lets snuggle up.....