it takes a village

i don't want to hate on mike. but he is asleep and i am awake. not that i have problems with sleep, i don't, unless i have pms or there is a full moon, which i suspect may be the same thing! however i have not been organized enough to document, but that will be for 2010. so, chloe lost a tooth today. so who is thinking about the tooth fairy? hmmmm? moi. am ok with this though, as for now, do not need to worry about how house is heated. onward and upward.

pine nuts

so, does anyone eat a lot of pine nuts? we do. nick does not eat meat so we are always doling out misc protein items and one of his favs are nuts. so we measure out his pine nuts, toast em up and they are yum! a few nights ago i toasted up a bunch to have extra on a salad...well mike was at work late and the salad never happened so i ate a handful of pine nuts.....fast forward a few hours and i have a horrible bitter/metallic taste in my mouth (this was monday, still have it sunday)...i recall mike having had this same phenomenon a few weeks ago....likely when he got home in time to have me actually make a salad....i brought this coincidence to his attention and he said "huh". i however was not going to let this little thing lie, so being somewhat of a nancy drew/matlock/macgyver aficionado (not to mention heart to heart!) and since we have goggle!! i thought i would check it out...sure enough it was pine nuts......apparently they can do this, especially pine nuts from china......and low and behold where do you think costco gets the pine nuts for its 5 lb bags that sell for $1.99???? good thing it only makes food taste funny and not bevvies. shit i wonder how much pignoli sell for at broders.......bring on the slivered almonds.

happy thanksgiving

i know its belated...what can i say...better late than never or maybe possibly if you leave things, alone (shock - nevah -so so counter intuitive, why would i evah) they get better and better and then voila my scar....happy thanksgiving. i am sated. my three lovely children are asleep, after a rock opera of sorts that i simultaneously love and hate - ok i admit - I LOVE...once they convince/cajole me to start....i am i there and i love it...this is lullaby at its best. btw i am making tea and there is so much bacon grease on the stove knobs that i must stop and massage it into my hands.....mmmm, if that is not a good omen of a sunday....perfectly perfect. sometimes lullaby is sweet, sometimes it is annie, sometimes freddie mercury......sometimes dependant on the nights activities and if momma has had some cocktails...i wonder if they notice. i don't think i do. when i am there it is just the two of us....nick - straight up "you are my sunshine". he is quiet now as opposed to when he was younger and would stop my and say "why is she crying", every night without fail he would ask and i would choke up and say because someone she loves has gone away....chloe likes "stars are the windows of heaven" which my mom and nana sang to me. sometimes she like a little "peggy o'niell" an irish pub song, also my mom and nana....but the words are changed to chloe cumming as they were marla rothney........it gets interesting with nate, as it always does. maybe he knows he has me and is going for it, making up for lost time/middle child. maybe he is just a cuddler. god i hope he never loses that. he likes "nate is special" a la ecfe, then "somewhere over the rainbow", which is special to me as we sang it at my nana's funeral and mike's moms name was dorothy, and then he likes " i love somebody" again ecfe and then the finale 1 or 2 "lullaby" lyrics compliments of my auntie pat and uncle peter rothney who sang it to their two girls every summer of my childhood in a 3 bedroom cottage with no real walls........then i smooch and ask if we've all peed and brushed teeth....mike is happily upstairs programming something on the computer. perhaps (god, i love that word!) inspired by matt and our dinner at vodas. harriet is "vacuuming" the floor......but tuck all that under your arm and there is more. i have been around the world so to speak in the past two weekends. i love to go out. it is no lie. i love it. i love to stay out late with mike - i love to watch him have fun. love to see him in party mode. love to be with my dear friends. thanksgiving night we found ourselves as stragglers for the first time in 10 years since we have lived here. when gabby and dave heard this, they full stop switched a roo and included us in their plans with their friends...it was a feast and so lovely. kids running around, delicious food and truly in my opinion what t to the g is all about. enveloping those around you, eating and being thankful for the bounty that we have....as well last weekend was a dear friends 50th bday. he had a house party and it was off da hook. kristi and derek and girls came for the weekend and our kids were ensconced in mutual love and affection and we headed to this bday. k & d are splendid, the right mix of family friend and fabulous. it is truly a treat to "play" with someone you have known and loved since you were 15...and 18....fuck i am old and i have known mike a long time.....friday night was connie's 40th bday, dear connie who i met at gymboree when our first babies were 6weeks old and way too young for gymboree but we needed something....her lovely fiery hubby put on a rockin bday party and well the afterparty was one to remember......tonight we went to vodas for curry......talk about family.....there is something that happens when you live away from yours. friendships become tighter....or at least some do. we have sailed some seas with these guys and we love them like perhaps (!! god i love that word) some of us were somehow from the same womb.........wtf harriet just walked across the room with yukon cornelius in her mouth! that was a close one....yeesh, you can so not play island of misfit toys without him....so i am thankful....on so many levels.....

do other people feel this way?

maybe it is a function of not having a job, of only being tethered to the realities and appraisals (albeit rigorous) of the 5 +year old set but i often find myself wondering in awe/disgust/fascination....do other people feel this way? just had to take a dance/grape/change my glass from broken plastic to glass wine glass/ break. we hosted a fundraiser for friend paul thissen who is running for governor of minnesota. wow, holy cow. really wonderful to do for him, really amazing to see something at the beginning.....however i am now half buzzed, alone (mike asleep) in a house full of wine and cheese and misc yummies. am i the only one who wished with wild abandon that the party go on? is it good or bad that i continue to listen to music, drink my wine out of glass and only put in the fridge bef bed what i dont consume.......really really am i alone?

nicely done monday

i just got home from a really expensive, really local, really organic, really sustainable lunch with my parents - which was lovely for all, esp me as i had a ginourmous hamburger, sans bun but mucho delciouso. mike had a tempah rueben which everyone at the table knew was tempah but he was expecting a super reuben a la kobe beef burger, not a bean curd patty masquerading as corned beef. my mom, although vegan has always shied away from eating tofu ect disguised as other things, tofurkey ect.....she is our yoda in all things low on the food chain. btw it is meatless monday! try it! ( : so far so good....for mike! har har. so i get home and check my voicemail and i have a call from coffee and tea in linden hills. one of my most fav coffee shops. tiny, pungent, no wi fi (btw do they not make offices and study halls anymore?) and i can bring in harriet and she has so much fun she almost thinks she was at the dog park.....well, they have a little bin on the counter that you can put your name in for a monthly coffee draw and of course i always do - if it's free, it's for me....que, carrie smile and nod.....well i WON!! a pound of coffee! i never ever win anything! i won the opportunity to go on a provincial browine (canadian for girl scouts/guides? whatever they are called) camping trip in 3rd grade and i swear that was the last time. i am so happy. really truly. i think mike thinks i am totally mental and i suppose he is wondering if he should strike a deal with coffee and tea every month just so i get the rush of victory...not a bad idea actually. i feel so good that i actually am going to go through with my promise to gabby of listening to kid music in the car with my kids. chloe singing blame it on the al al al al al alcolhol while cutting out paper snowflakes, is just wrong! that paper is a tree! only snowflakes from paper that has been colored/printed on, again, carrie smile and nod.....however leads to strange clock work orange type snowflakes, with a mix of dissected my little pony, army guy and case notes from hcmc.....no really though, she is 5 and now she is going to discover that there is a whole genre of age appropriate music for a 5 year old! so brew so coffee and strike up the raffi! it's monday!

rainy day present

what to do? caught in that moment of time before total organized sport chaos and summer it's nice out we must "enjoy" it. rainy day, 89.3, kids are somewhere in the house....not sure where or what they are doing but all is quiet. dog chewing giant weekend bone with total devotion. kitchen fridge soup is brewing. i will take this moment and i choose to just be....this is of course difficult for me......my natural state is to be in the future - my imagination, wow, that sounds really bad, or the past romanticizing reality......equally bad. i acknowledge this and in the spirit of my sept new year resolution - which i just decided to have right now! NOW! i am going to be present.....or at least really really try!

ten years come and gone so fast i might as well been dreaming

my baby is 10. 10. how does this happen. how does this time pass? before your eyes. in the midst of washing, watching, picking up, anticipating, pushing, hoping, wiping, loving......i could go on and on. it is a funny thing to watch your heart develop. your first born. 10. perched in this lovely precarious spot this glorious time of boyhood. someone once told me the glory years. between babyhood and teen years. he is spectacular. interesting and quirky. sensitive and wise. truly spectacular. he is a boy. his own boy. before my very eyes he has become himself.

there was a little boy

well, the story went, there was a little girl who had a little curl right in the middle of her forehead. and when she was good, she was very very good and when she was bad she was horrid. that was the story my nana mary told me. she was/is incidentally my most favorite person ever. hands down. this story could describe nate. with of course a gender switch as he is a boy. my boy. my lovely beautiful golden hair boy. who has the highest highs and the lowest lows. if you want a snuggle, go to him. if you want a scrap go to him ....he in 8 yrs has has two broken legs and a broken arm. pure 100 % child and boy. unabashed. perfection. never change nate. you are perfect. perfectly perfect.

caught between two worlds

so when i was in high school my friend laura and i had this thing......caught between two worlds don't know where to turn the answer my friend is blowing in the wind what about the baby sweet jesus......i sent this remembrance to her and she loosely remembered it, not unlike how someone remembers the lyrics to a "wham" song.......but to me it stuck. this is big. foreshadowing, tess of the dubervilles foreshadowing big. i feel like i am stuck. September to me is a particularly auspicious time. my new year. a start of things. school ect. just new, change of season. babies getting older, 20 year reunions.......a time of change. not in a bad way not in a good way just in a way. there is an ease to september if you let it. funny that i write this on the first of october or maybe not. maybe it takes riding a pedicab through st paul on a drunken remembrance cruise to liberate september for all its goodness.

so how does one live in the today? what does it take? is it a reality? the end of summer is a time of nostalgia for me, for mamas. children, babies before our eyes go to school, taking a bit of us and a bit of relief, given and reluctantly parted with.....strollers strolled, swings swung....whether 2 days or 2 years ago, our memories are pushing these images to the forefront....bittersweet. for me, hard not to dwell in the past, in those memories, those feelings, those sensations, so real. and then boom there it is the future - who am i ? they are in school? how do i define myself? who should i be? what makes me tick? the past the future.......popping between the two without a breath for the now. how do we capture this now that is really all that matters? hmmmmmmm. for now i believe that the simplest path is the right one. enjoy, breathe, be present, be grateful, surround yourself with those who push you and make you laugh, play cards with your kids even though you want a second cup of coffee. enjoy the french horn......walk the dog.....just be......hello october.....lets snuggle up.....

ohhhhhhhhhh canada

i feel like the datsun 510 that my bro and i drove ( i say that very loosely), the car that my friends learnt to drive standard on, that would not start first try but would continue running long after keys had been removed.....the car that i would crawl out of the hatch at the u of m - that's manitoba bitches - hollah....because the parking was too tight, the car that had the tape that connected to the walkman....u know what i am talking about........you do.... )yeesh - that all really sounds like a slightly dirty homage to myself - HOLLAH!

home after almost a month in the mother country and i am at sail without an anchor. it is a funny thing to consider living out your life in a country you were not born into. a strange dance that you engage in. this dance i dance is subtle, but it is there. maybe it is not so much the country as it is the people. or maybe it is both. we live, i feel in an insular enviro.....not of the choosing but of geography. both mike and i grew up with all kinds of family around. cousins, aunts, uncles, grandmas , grandpa, great this and that's, aunts that were not aunts but were moms bffs, lots and lots of misc wonderful people who were of all ages and talents that were drawn together. fuck. i have said it. it breaks my heart that my kids will never know this. i love mpls, i love our lives here, i LOVE our dear dear friends, but i yearn for the imposed chaos that geog brings you. i love that kids learn to see more than kids moms and dads........this feels very suburban to me, that which i have strived not to create. ugh......this brings me to canada. this is why we disappear to the north. we are dipping our children like a giant oreo cookie into a big glass of milk - into a big vat of "geography". this summer it was a month, next summer i hope longer. there is something magical that happens when it clicks.....when you see your kids talking to your aunt or your sister, when you see them connect. when you see them learn something, be it golf, or canoeing or the fact that the bag in the boxed wine can be used as a floatation device....oh wait, that is my youth.....hah! soon to pass along that nugget to my kids. it is something, and i am going to hang on tight. geog does something intentional to you. there is an obligation to commit when it is family. that can feel fatiguing on the front side but rewarding on the flip side (omg - that was the name of the teen dance club i frequented in the v early 80's).....or maybe mike and i were sheltered by mothers that gave gave gave, wrapped and cooked and cleaned and smiled and really wanted very little in return....i, in some ways feel myself going this way....the difference being mike is along for the ride willingly on vacay and begrudgingly at la maison....our moms did it solo and we were none the wiser. hmmmm. so maybe there is a correlation betwixt my joy and betrothed on holiday? doesn't hurt. he gives be present a new meaning.....god, now i feel like an under slept first year english TA screaming there is no thesis........so what do i say? thank you families. thank you for a wonderful wonderful summer. for a moment of time i know we were all present.

cynicism 101

i remember the day i was at my marketing internship at john wiley and sons (last respectable job btw unless you call simultaneous loly gagging & slave labour a career) and i was introduced to "stock photos". tabernacle! (also a little something from JWS) the veil was lifted. those smiling, frowning, toasting, laughing ect strangers had not posed just for my little bookie (that was before the intranet - WTF how did i get so old and WTF why have i been retired....whoa"retired" for so long........)but here was a very large book - a tome, not a tomb as i wanted to call it before the INTRANET! AND GOGGLE - why even educate yourself, just get goggle hard wired to your brain......( : smirk.......chalked full of these said photos - ripe for the taking. back lit staircase - check. laughing children - check. sleeping dog - check. it was all there and all catalogued! well, holy buckets, what a revelation. so now, not a day goes by where i do not look at said photos and think..yeah right. my cherry is gone, i am so on to you all. it really makes enjoying the adds in the sunday paper or really any slightly nebulous pics i come across hard to accept. maybe this is ok for the lot of you but not for i!!! so on a binge of healthy living declarations to myself and sleeping very lazy dog i decided to bookmark all my yoga studios so i was indeed ready for healthy living......that is when i came across this gem. yeah right mofo. healthy smealthy. i am having another glass of vino.

lucifer thy name is ikea

i went to catholic school most of my life and as such i believe i have a pretty good visual on satan, and satan, i believe runs ikea.

the kids are still in canada with my parents at "nana and grampa camp" - a high octane week of total merriment where my parents pretty much do a years worth of "we should do that with the kids" in one week. how lucky are we! i know you feel happy for us, really. i however usually loathe people with oh so helpful grandparents who whisk kids away and the adults have a night out with no counting hours drunkenly in car trying to figure out how much to pay.......anyways. also, know that i am crafting some witty reflections on our trip to canada - the first leg (we are going back on saturday for another week bc frankly my mosquito bites have healed and i am in alcohol withdrawal) was divine and full of all sorts of gong show (thanks to kristi for coining that) behaviour, family and fast boats ( all motorized for moi)

....so back to satan. inspired and emboldened by furniture experience with carrie (we put together 8000 pieces of cost plus misc that mike ordered after consuming too much wine), as well carrie put together a kick ass bedroom for her boys from ikea so i thought me casa e tu casa. i get to ikea and it is packed. i have always mused that you could use ikea like a preschool, have a little lunch (swedish meatballs are delish) browse ect and the ball room was in fact mayhem. i however went right up the escalator and frankly somewhat enjoyed my shopping experience. even packing my own flat bed and dumping it in the parking lot and running to get my car before someone stole my stack or ran over it, i smiled and hefted it into my car. i get it home and some of it into my house and start to build. i think i can do this! i am very intentional, i read and re read. the bookshelf is all together and i go to slip the back in and low and behold i have put the fucking shelves in the wrong place - wtf. of course mike comes home at this point and chortles. i walk away from the shelf and start on the drawers for the desk...i am not kidding i start at 5, have a quick dinner and am back at it (while watching nurse jackie which is great although jackie's hubby is miscast i believe - a tad too young) at 11 - yes 11 i put the drawers in and they do not fit!!!!! vika furusund i curse you. you know those cute/quirky pics of the ikea designers they have all over the store, the ones that say - i love simplicity, i have a bed and a couch and a funky lamp and am v organized and speak 5 languages - they are satan's minions. they work with him to craft this furniture so poor unsuspecting folks like me who are just trying to save a few bucks and not spend $500 on desk at pottery barn kids for an 8 year old buy it and self destruct- - why why why!! but i shall persevere! i will not succumb! i am going to build this shit if it takes me the rest of the summer and frankly i suspect it will......

boom there it is

moments sneak up on you. today i walked over to the library with nate and chloe (why is it that 2 kids feels like 20 less kids than 3?) and on the way home we stopped at dunn bros for an iced coffee - yum. i love the iced dark roast. strong, no sugar with milk. slightly medicinal but delicious and i always silently congratulate myself for not getting their version of a frappucino type beverage with whipped cream...so not only feeling triumphant but also fresh and wide awake. here is something one could get addicted to. so while i am ordering chloe drops her book, nate drops some garbage, you know the drill and it does not occur to them to pick it up so i say guys pick it up....blah blah blah - they do! holy shit! anyways i say to the coffee guy - i am their sherpa. he looks at me and says sherpas are used to surviving without a lot of oxygen. pause pause pause. we look at each other. i smile he smiles, i pick up chloe's water cup and toss it in the garbage. take a deep breath and enjoy a little stumble into wisdom. who knew my coffee stop would fill me thrice.

slawlicious

here is a great recipe for coleslaw. HOORAY! i got a run in, the sun is shining. we have family from winnipeg coming over for a bbq...and we are headed to the pool for a dip. what could make the day better....well, mike took all three kids out to hunt for wetsuits - yes we choose to vacay in canada and the water is a tad chilly....so i am alone to putter and prep dinnah for tonight......satisfying and soooo tasty. just ate a huge helping of this - v yummy. i used 2 bags of the precut coleslaw mix and added a tbsp of hoisin sauce to the dressing bc even though i cannot say it properly i love it on pretty much anything.....so enjoy!

Crunchy Peanut Slaw

1 big bowl of slaw, serves at least 8

1 medium head green cabbage, outer leaves removed
1 1/2 cups roasted, unsalted peanuts
1 bunch green onions
1 cup chopped cilantro (about two big handfuls unchopped)
Salt and pepper

Dressing:
1/2 cup light oil, like canola
3 tablespoons rice vinegar
1 tablespoon sugar (or more, to taste)
1 tablespoon sesame oil1 teaspoon soy sauce (or more, to taste)

Shred the cabbage very finely. The fineness of the shredded cabbage is really what makes this salad; you want it in in threads, almost, and with the threads chopped into bite-size lengths. Toss with the peanuts in a large bowl. Chop the scallions, including the green and white parts. Toss the scallions and chopped cilantro with the cabbage, seasoning very lightly with salt and pepper.
Whisk the dressing until emulsified, then taste and adjust to your own preferences of sweetness and saltiness.
Toss with the cabbage. Garnish with a few more peanuts and serve.

a sigh of relief

mike has bought a boat (well, i guess i should say WE have bought a boat - chuckle) and ecstatic is not even enough to describe how i feel. this boat has an engine, i.e. is not powered by the wind, who by the way i loved for a good 36 years, this is the wind we are talking about just in case i lost you....anyways...a few years mike/we bought a 17 ft hobie cat - a sailboat he said that had coolers - images of lounging and white wine filled my mind with pleasure and satisfaction- HAH. is all i can say, would you like to see my scars? i was his ballast, there is no other word for it, and bless his heart he loved every minute of it (the way your kids love beating sibs up, i suspect?!?) anyways, it got to the point that i would wake at the cabin and hear the wind and think SHIT!!!!!!!!!!! this was the whole reason to have dyani at minaki for 2 summers, i know most thought it was to help watch kids, but truly it was to give mike a sailing buddy. hey - i will watch all the kids and make dinner, you go get in the harness and sail with my beloved....?....i loved the idea of sailing, kind of like the way i loved tennis, btw have you seen me in a tennis skirt? HEllo....but truly it scares the shit out of me. thank god my kids love it and will have the muscle memory (thank you kim for imprinting me with that concept) for sailing...and now anyone for a little water skiing and a booze cruise?

and the winner is

in the epic battle for domination, and no, i am not referring to nate vs chloe, that is a whole other story, one that would take some quiet and at least a whole bottle of wine to wrap my mind around. this battle i am referring to is laundry. what is a 7 letter word for defeat......laundry. btw i had to count that out on my fingers at least twice. i have come at this from all angles. monday is laundry day - failure! each day i will do a load - failure! i will just air fluff items and pretend they were laundered - stinky failure! how many times have i heard - mom/marla/honey/lazy fat assed w$%#e - do i have any clean underwear? to which i answer (at least in the month of july,) - oh honey it's summer go comando - alas failure! don't even get me started on the chewies - total utter and i fear unhygienic failure! so what's a mom to do? thank goodness for washers and driers for one, i do not even want to go there with the whole cloth diaper thing...thank god for my good natured spouse who i know likes to wear things a second or third time (that is a 7 child family thing, i am sure) and i suspect my daughter and son in laws one day will thank me for learned fondness for the whole free ballin/?? thing. well, likely they will never thank me - heaven forbid! it will, i imagine be an unspoken thing, not unlike the smile on my face as i roll over and go back to sleep and mike recycles his underwear.

objects in the mirror are closer than they appear

much much closer and much more volatile

in my next life i am coming back as one of my kids

seriously. there really isn't anything else to say on this. lucky little buggers.

too much of a good thing is in fact too much

so we have a sitter and what do we do.....go to costco. it seemed like a good idea until we were walking to our car after the carnage and we thought WTF !! why did we go to costco when we could have gone to the farmers market and had lunch? well, you can't get 48 individually wrapped bags of cheezits at the farmers market...we felt ill....could have been the copious sampling that we engaged in - potato salad - rice chips - frappacino - muffins! every time i go to costco i get to the ziploc bag ect area and i want to abandon ship - seriously just leave the cart and bolt. i don't however which inevitably leads to this. now you have it, where do you put it??? the excess just seems wrong...co-op, bike, farmers market here i come.

if looks could kill

hmm, how do i classify this look? it does seem slightly unfair that this is the closest he gets to outdoors while i lounge around at the pool sipping diet coke and gabbing ...livin the dream.

what child is this

so, if there were ever any question about my children's lineage....tonight my mom and dad from winnipeg and aunt and uncle from vancouver were here and nate and i were setting the table. i having had several vino blancos kept trying to count how many at the table, not unlike the moment when you are trying to count how many hours the sitter has been there in the car on the way home at 2 in the morning....i set an additional spot. we sat down and my dad said marla you set one too many and nate bless his heart said - that one is for michael jackson.

dear mike

please come home. it is unfair to go to costco and leave me with 1.36kg of pistachios and 1.13kg of cashews - they do not even need to be shelled! it is unnatural to leave someone like me in a home with unfettered access to such salty goodness.

hot night summer in the city

armed with a very hairy restless dog, three root beer floats a grande glass of white wine on ice, (in the free, temperature changing cup from the library no less - note - am so going back for more of those - FAB), i headed out to the bandshell for tonight's concert. there was an Indonesian band/orchestra playing and it set the stage for a special night. the kids sat next to a rather large topless man dressed in a kilt and a lai, we listened for a bit.....chloe danced at the front, of course, because as she pointed out to me, if she danced only in front of me, no one would see her....then we headed up to the playground. it was getting dusky, the music was in the background, there were languages being spoken, people of all colours and it was perfect. it made me realize why i love Minneapolis and why i love living IN Minneapolis. this is our beautiful world and i am glad that on a magical night my kids are playing in a park with all kinds of people. that may sound cliche, and actually i don't really care. i will take it where i can get it.

squirrel

master - please take me for a walk. if we walk i will not dig up your yard. i hid under the porch because i love you...

if you have seen up you will get this. if you have not seen it get thee to a theatre.

go fug yourself

my morning routine consists of coffee and the fug girls. this is pretty much all i can handle until i hear the pitter patter/banging of my children....then i read the paper and concentrate (HA! is this bass akwards?) on the real world. you can only imagine the ah ha/coming of age/full circle/dejavu moment i had when they brought up jessica wakefield. i always knew i liked them, nodded my head sagely to the reference of phyllis or ray pruitt (y&r and 90210 respectively for those of you playing catch up)...but this cemented things. the spring/summer of grade 9 i contracted some horrible virus and was bed ridden for months, ok, it was likely weeks, but months sounds so much better...a friend brought me a box of these books and i read them all one after another...the books were total crap, so PLEASE do not read them, but do check out the fug girls!

wanted

friend for evening of serious epic binge drinking. must like dancing. must like bawdy humour. must like hilarity. applications taken daily.

a sigh heard round (no pun intended) the world

mu soccer is cancelled, so say yee the website, open a bottle of wine, cook your family a dinner and enjoy this night off from the childhood sport extravaganza.

does this warm the cockles of your heart?

I am in epic epic disaster. It looks like my house could be the set for an asher roth video. not sure mike would enjoy the irony of that. or even get it. keg stand…………yelling at my kids, trying oh so hard to enjoy them…ugh….they are upstairs - "organizing" their rooms, with interspersed sparring. I say organizing in the loosest of terms. I can just imagine - CAN'T wait to see "set ups". poor nick came down and said uh mom, all your undies are in my dresser - egads.

chez clampet

when i was little we had dear family friends who had the party house. you know the one where people always gather, music is always on, there is always wine...i loved this and intentionally and erratically much to mike's dismay and enjoyment have tried to create this in our home. they had a lovely family house with a boarded up garage emblazoned with "not too shabby". i do not know if it was temporarily under construction or if that was there for years but i remember it. i remember the way it set the tone for fun. i remember my parents laughing and i remember not knowing what it meant but that i liked it. last night i watched as my husband and Trevor from St Cloud leveled our brand new shed - there goes the neighborhood. the early years of our lives set the stage for many of our choices and apparently it is not just me that is intentionally positioning our home for a whole lotta joy. thanks mike, i mean jed.

mighty whitey

this is my summer to get savagely tan. i can just feel it.

when the boys you used to hate you date i guess we best investigate

so nick asks me in the car - "mom, i think i would like you to tell me about how babies get in and get out". hmm/holy shit/here we are/time to shine moma. i dig up the mantra from ecfe - only give them what they ask for, no more no less. so i fill him in, he says - oh man you had to do that to get me, i chuckle.....so today we are driving home from soccer, my kids and two buddies. i walk the one boy up to his house and hop back in the car to nick shouting - "mom, nate told jimmy about how the penis touches the vagina! screeeeeeeccccchhhhhh....of course nick told nate, of course nate was saving this nugget to use at an appropriate, i.e. attention getting (he is my child after all) moment. i say, nick this was a private talk, you are not to talk with your friends about this, blah blah blah......followed by me sheepishly slinking up the steps to tell jimmy's mom that my 7 year old just gave him the scoop on the facts. she of course was totally cool and put my guilt's at ease - note to self, love when people are cool and put me at ease, enjoy bottle of wine and chortle about sex talk with this pal in near future....hopped back in the car and turned up the volume on the radio - she moves her body like a cyclone and she makes me wanna do it all night long.......turned radio off.....enough facts of life for one day.

note: names of those not my offspring have been changed....so if jimmy tells your kid - it is not my fault.

who you callin old lady?

so i am sitting on my porch with a glass of wine and a rare moment of quiet - actually feeling quite smug, when this couple walks by our house - she says "that old lady needs some help". hmmmmmm, which old lady would that be? was she referring to the ripped screens? the frazzled, but mowed dammit, grass? or did she mean me?

technologically challenged

this is so apropos. mike bought this super fancy computer that has a touch screen and a fly landed on it and thus two separate posts. i am sure that if i hadn't had a healthy amount of vino i would be able to figure this out but alas that is not to be. so close one eye/squint/whatever you need to do to make it merge. on another note, you will notice the sink full of dishes. this is an experiment. i am going to see if mike will unload and load dishwasher. anyone care to wager on this? hand washing i will keep up on but dw is freestyle.

wine enthusiast

i love wine. it is a serious hobby of mine, and by that i mean the drinking of, not the connoisseuring of. recently mike and i were wine shopping and the clerk asked us what we were looking for in a white wine. we said screw top, cue laughter, except i was serious. there is nothing like the ease and subtle crack when you turn the cap and voila - heaven. i can almost feel the collective shudder but i will take my ease where i can find it. mike took it to the next level by heading to costco and bought me 2 cases. on how many levels do i love this?!

my dog is tethered to a lawn mower

let me tell you bout a story bout a man named jed.

today mike tethered harriet to a lawn mower. so if she tries to bolt after one of the many rabbits she will take and i think he hopes secretly, destroy the lawn mower.

where you are is exactly where you should be

have you ever heard this? it is a bit of a mantra for me. sometimes to excuse behaviour, as in i should not have eaten that whole sleeve of ritz crackers, but this is where i should be, but also big macro what can i learn about myself from where i have landed or rather in my case i feel perched. i am a consistent oxymoron. i wake up and i think today i will eat only organic and exercise and play engaging games and craft with my children. this always ends up in short order cooking dino eggs (scary) and cinnamon toast crunch (yummy) whilst dancing to the soothing rhythms of slightly inappropriate dance music. the day advances and 4'o clock arrives and i wonder - upper or downer - coffee or wine? i lay my head on my pillow in a flurry of guilt and wonder; love and pride; fulfilment and remorse. i live with 5 of the best housemates/partners in crime/wisest of the wise/loveliest people and pet: my husband , 9 year old son , 7 year old son, 4 year old daughter and 1 year old dog. this is my cast of characters, those who lovingly i inflict, immerse and inoculate with my nature. i would love it if you would let me indulge and explore the micro and macro of where we all are perched.